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[Tuesday
July 12th, 2005
3:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
Life's good.
But Im really starting to dislike Livejournal again.
Myspace is cooler &hearts :)
Plus noone reads this shit anyways.
so Im writing for...Nothing? yea lol
Bye Bye!!
♥ I love you GDH
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[Wednesday
July 6th, 2005
5:25pm] |
I hate being whiny & pathetic.
I hate being a pest
& such a big ass bother to people.
I seriously try to hard for approval.
I know i shouldnt do that.
Man..
I really dont want him to leave again ♥
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| ...Overreating would be the problem. |
[Saturday
July 2nd, 2005
10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
] |
It's only been 2 nights but
I'll be okay though, It always is.
I just hope he's okay. ♥
I Love You Garrett :)
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[Friday
July 1st, 2005
11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
Summer school = BLAH
It's boring, I hate early wakeups, but Of course I come home & lay down anyways.
the classes are OKAY. it's weird there & so much different from john glenn
but then again...It's summer school what was i expecting.
Anywho.
Life's perfect right now.
Me & garrett are perfect, & everything along with it is too.
I Love him :)
but he left thursday, & it sucks.
I hate it when he leaves
but I made a promise to him not to cry & be all sad the whole day.
So im staying positive & looking forward to him coming home. :)
I always keep my word to him ♥
But it sucks when your sitting all alone,
&suddenly your song plays, you just want him there with you ♥
But he's coming home, & Im not going to worry.
Hmm I hate how i never have time for anyone anymore.
Summer schools fills up your life for 6 weeks let me tell you.
I want to stay places & Have late ngiht phone calls but I cant because I have to wake up mega early.
thats the only part that blows.
well Im done bitching. :)
I love you garrett david hall & I miss you terribly sweetheart ♥
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| & I Could Not Ask for More. |
[Sunday
June 26th, 2005
5:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
Life's Amazing right now :)
& Im Incredibly happy.
Lately Ive been hanging out with garrett ♥
I Love spending time with him.
He's amazing & He always know's how to cheer me up & make me laugh!
Friday went to the spree with April, that was fun except the weather was unbelieveable there.
& When we went on one of the rides....GUM GOT ON MY FLIPFLOP. It was Priceless though.
Came home, Took a cold shower cause again it ws hott, Went to garretts & spent time with him + I met he's grandparents there really nice people :) I felt comfortable there.
Saturday went to garretts for he's sisters dance thing at wayne memorial. That was cute but I was having such horrible cramps it killecd my day. Went out to dinner with them at olive garden, Didnt really eat cause I was in so much pain but as soon as we got to garretts the pain went away so I was good for the rest of the night, we Layed around & talked. I Love Him I wish everyone knew what true Love was. it's the most amazing feeling ever ♥♥♥
Today Family came over, Went swimming, Layed out :) it was a relaxing day.
The end♥
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| ...Sometimes Words Just Arent Enough. ♥ |
[Tuesday
June 21st, 2005
8:33pm] |
Let me Just Simply Pour my heart out On here, Because I Dont know what else to do.
I know noone can ever be perfect, even if you think you are you arent, you can try but even that doesnt come close, but for once I'd Like to feel Like Im not Just some average girl, I'd like to have the brains & Be smart, Or Be the pretty one, That noone forgets. But Im none of those things Im Just Me, and I'll have to live with that no matter what. There are times I catch myself wishing I was someone else, wanting to be gorgeous like them or skinny like them. But then I remember that Garrett tells me "Your Perfect the way you are" Yea to him, he loves me no matter what I look like, How dumb I am, No matter how many stupids things i say,I could be with him with eyeliner running down my face from crying & he'd still lift my head up and call me beautiful, but for that split second I'll believe him. because He's the only person who makes me feel beautiful when Im around him. Part of my problem is wanting to be someone different for him, but if I was someone different he wouldnt love me like he does right now when I'm me There are times I get Jealous just because I worry that any girl could take him away from me,but if he wanted anyone else then he would have left me already, I should have thought about all of these things before I cried so many nights, worried, made people mad at me, I need to think about everything first. You Know? Im One of the luckiest People On this earth because of Him No matter how many fights we get into, or How many times I bug him, or anything He sticks by me because He loves me. Noone will understand how truelly amazing Garrett is till they've been through what we have & seen what I see in he's eyes. I pray to god noone ever gets that chance. I havent done good all the time, Ive done alot of bad things but somehow I must have done something good to deserve him. I thank god every single day I have him In my life. He's all I ever asked for, when I was little I used to picture prince charming, every little girl has there own image of prince charming, Garretts mine. I Love Him with everything I have,He's showed me the real meaning of True Love, When I met him he gaves me feelings ive never felt before & for some people those feelings will wear off but for me they stay, day & night, All it takes is the sound of he's voice & I have butterflies In my stomach. Lately, Ive been worrying so much just because it's summer & Im so used to seeing him in the morning's during school so i never had to worry but now schools out, Summers here & things change. I let the littliest things get to me now, Its unbearable & I know it gets to garrett when I worry, I need to stop, but when your in love like I am you cant help it. Loving Someone doesnt have a limit, I Love You Isnt enough for me to describe how i feel for him. He means absolutely everything to me, without Him I couldnt live in this world, He amkes me want to wake up each morning. He's changed my life for the better & Im so thankful. I couldnt thank god enough. but what's weird is I still go to bed praying he's still mine in the morning, I do that everynight. Love changes you for the best. Everytime I look at him I see my future, All i ask of him is to let me go to bed in he's arms & wake up right next to him. I want to go for weekend drives to whereever our hearts lead us, and walk hand in hand everywhere we go. I want to grow old & Sit in rocking chairs talking about the life we've spent together. I know our future wont be Picture perfect, It'll have it's up and downs, all the fights, nothings perfect but I'll still be the happiest person alive because I got to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life. He's faithful to me, & He's never done a thing to lose my trust. Im simply a girl madly In Love with a boy ♥ ♥
If You Read This Garrett, I want you to know From The Bottom Of My Heart Im truely Sorry For everything, Your all I ever need for the rest of my life & Im so in love with you baby. ♥ Stay with me always.
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[Tuesday
June 14th, 2005
6:31pm] |
Okay
I decided to use my damn journal again I guess.
I tried fixing it up & this is what it looks like. not that bad but not to great
Well Today was the last day of school
& I hated it.
I should have tried harder during school
cause then I wouldnt be stuck like i am now :[ NEVER AGAIN I SWEAR
but other than that Summer should deffinately be fun :)
exspecially with the boyfriend & friends ♥ gotta love it.
Im scared about my finals.
I know i passed some but Im worried about the ones I Need to pass.
I really dont want summer school. it's sucha bummer!!!
Hmm did i mention I Love my boyfriend ♥ ♥ ♥Nope didnt think so!!!
Mhm bye bye :)
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| You<3 |
[Saturday
April 23rd, 2005
12:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
I love you more than you could ever possibly imagine.
I honestly dont know where i'd be without you by my side,
I know we've have our bad times but Look at us now?
Our relationship is stronger than it's ever been & I couldnt ask for more.
I swear everytime you look at me, touch me or kiss me
I get these chills & butterflies that I dont ever want to go away
It's amazing how I can be myself around you non stop
Noone will ever see what i see for you & what exactly i feel for you
I just wish there were enough words to sum up how much i love you garrett
Baby, I promise you no matter how many fights, how many mean things we say to one another
my love for you will never go away & it'll never become any less
What we have is True Love & Im not ever letting that go
Your my everything, your my other half, your the one for me ♥
I love you garrett david hall :)
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[Thursday
April 14th, 2005
5:32pm] |
This journal blows!
I dont even write in here anymore
but anywho LIFE IS WONDERFUL :) YIPEEE
& By the way
I love my boyfriend ♥ I'm going to marry this boy :] yes yes!
+ I love my best friends. there so incredibly awesome. they always know how to make me laugh & cheer me up :) it's so awesome.
Im a Myspace whore :) ♥ I love it more then livejournal. :) ha!
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[Friday
February 18th, 2005
5:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
So I promised pictures of the SAC adventure & well...Here they are!! ;):]
( Crazyness bitches. )
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[Thursday
February 17th, 2005
9:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
Okay so today was the first time i acctually had fun on break.
Me & ally went ot pick up steph...Man i hadnt seen that girl in forever :) I love her. but we chilled at stephs for awhile, then Stephs dad needed to go pick up he's truck so Ally drove him while me & steph chilled chatting, playing with her cats & taking pictures lol we're lame I know. well it took a million years for ally to come back!! but we got in the car & headed to the mall, we did absolutely nothing but walk around & help ally look for a prom dress cause she was going with Derek :) but we were going to walk around some more but decided we were bored of the mall, we got into the car & got into this fight about where to go..Oh man let me tell you it was nuts. but since ally's the boss we went to the park & took pictures of us doing the most retarded things like sneaking into porter pottys!! haha. it was like freezing outside & there were sharp cold winds. ek we were going to die but we climbed on the wood toy things & huddled together to get warm but it didnt work so we all ran back to the car. we decided to go back to stephs & Just chill there. we got there & we were all starving our asses off, plus were cold as fuck so we needed food. :) we made preztels since steph has absolutely Nothing in her fridge! No wonder steph is so skinny! but we did that took a few lame pictures. then Chilled in stephs room & Juts chatted & jammed. it was fun :) I missed hanging out with them but to you people it might sound boring what we did today but Obvisouly you dont know us. we make the best fun out of anything really :)
Well Im gone. I have to rest up for tommorow cause Im hanging out with rachell :)
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[Tuesday
February 15th, 2005
6:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
Today sucked badly...
I have a splitting/throbbing headache that hurts like hell.
I fought with tons of people & Honestly fighting with people just makes me more frustrated & Irritated.
Ive come to realize that I need to start being a little nicer to people & Maybe I'll get some respect in return instead of people always talking shit about me...
Im sick of parents thinking they can always slap me around & it's fine...Cause really it's not.
Parents who hit their kids literally need to burn in hell. because it's just not right at all.
I need to have more faith in myself & More self esteem..
I really miss my best friends more then anything but Nothing's changed & Doubt it ever will. I cant even call them my best friends really
the only real friend I have left is ally. who's always been truthful with me & Has always been there for me. It seems like no matter how many fights I have with her we get over them & Come out laughing in the end. she's always been very honest and upfront with me which is a true quality in a best friend. she's told me the things I need to change & the things I do that she doesnt like. I may not tlel her I appreciate it but I really do because it at least shows me someone still cares. :]
Hmm well this headache is literally killing me & Im gona go lay down to watch the notebook.
I need to get a life instead of watching tearjerking movies dude..
<3Courtney
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[Monday
February 14th, 2005
8:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
Happy Valentine's day everyone
This deffinately has been the best V-day by far <33
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[Saturday
February 12th, 2005
10:19pm] |
...wow
& when I swore to myself I wouldnt get sick...what happens? I do.
Ive been puking all day & I know this may be sick, But i puked up blood which is disgusting!
Maybe i should go to the doctors? Nope. Ive already got it figured out.
I have the flu + I hate the doctors...Literally!!
it seems like I go to the doctors every week :[
Anywho. Aside from being sick today wasnt to shabby.
Yesterday i went to garretts & Hung out with him & matt.
Let's just say I got injured alot:
1)matt hit me in the head with he's shoe
2)Garrett tried to jump over the couch but hit my head instead
3)Garrett tackled me to the couch & I hit my elbow on some really hard wood or so it felt?:\
4)Matt jumped on me...He's not heavy let me tell you. he's a lardass :x j/k!
I must say it was a pretty hectic day but to say the least I had fun :]
It's like 10:30 and im pretty exhausted...Im hitting the sheets <3 Goodnight
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[Friday
February 11th, 2005
12:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
I swear to god!
everyone around me is getting sick.
it's either the flu, ammonia, cold or strep!
It's crazy & lately my throats been killing me & Im getting constant headaches.
If i get sick...Im blaming everyone :];] lol
well Okay enough of that but right now I guess you could say life is alright.
Some days are crazy beyond belief & then other can go really good.
lately I'm starting to get really aggrivated by people and really frustrated.
But oh welll. im sure i'll get over it.
I have to go - bells about to ring -
<3Courtneyyy :]
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[Saturday
February 5th, 2005
2:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
This is going to be a long entry but Honestly I just need to vent & get everything out.
For the last 2 weeks every single time i wake up in the morning...I dont look forward to it being a brand new day. I hate going to bed knowing that i HAVE to wake up...All my life is anymore is a shit load of lies & being so damn negative. It seems like Losing my bestfriends is a daily activity now & I hate it. The one person who i used to call my bestest friend isnt even there anymore because of how i am now a days. I know sometimes im negative & all i ever have to say our negative things but that's because I cant ever see anything positive. Im not saying my life is complete shit but I hate the way things are turning out to be in my life. Lately all Ive heard is people say "I hate the way you think your oh so perfect, and your better then everyone else" that isnt it. I dont think im perfect..if anything Im far from it, and I dont think im better then anyone else in this world. Everyone is equal & I know this so why would i go out of my way to say Im so much better then someone else....I wish someone would just understand that Im not the horrible person that everyone sees me as being. I hate the fact that when people look at me, they see a big bitch..Yes i can be bitch & yes i do get mad but that is only if you've done someone completely wrong to me or someone I love. Im sick of my parents always looking down upon me and thinking they cant ever trust me, if anything they can trust me more then anything. I know more things then most kids do & im not stupid enough to do them. they never have any confidence in me & they think Im never trying...as in school. Im trying my hardest to get good grades & show them that I acctually am smart & have the ability to do things on my own, but not only do my parents not believe in me but none of my friends do either!! I cant blame any of this on anyone but myself & the only way Im gonna ever be able to fix it is by doing it myself and on my own.
I know i cant ask for friends who have faith in me, believe in me & treat me the way friends should because as the saying goes " treat other the way you want to be treated" & Im just going to learn to live by the quote from now on.
I want everyone who's ever been my best friend or even a close friend that I love you all & Im thankful that ive had the chance of being your friend & sharing memories with you.
all im asking for is another chance...</3
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[Sunday
January 2nd, 2005
1:13am] |
wednesday - Spent the nght at britters house. we had fun catching up & Just laughing our asses off :) I must say Coloring with britt can be quite fun lol & of course were camera whores. Gotta love it :) lol We soent most of our time tryign to figure out how to downloads her pictures to a CD & then we just went to bed
Thursday- Woke up, Went home, Showered quickly & then went to the mall with Ally :) we had alot fo fun. we ended up going to get lunch after & visited grant at work. Im surprised that boy has the patience to deal with ignorant people let me tell you. after that we waited for grant to get off work then Ally just drove me home Since my parents were leaving.
Friday (New years eve)- Went over my parent's friends house for dinner then Came hoem & Had justin stop by:*:) I was very happy about that, then Ally wanted to spend new years together so I spent the night at her house & Laughed till like 3 in the morning. God i love her! lol and after all that...I just crashed :)
Saturday - Woke up at like 11 because ally was throwing pillows at me? lol..Went home. Got ready & then Suddenly got a throbbing headache. Ugh Man i hate those. but i waited all day for my parnets to leave around 8 & then I chilled...Justin came over for a few. :) it was very cute<3 and Ally, ernie & amber suddenly stoped by because ernie insisted on seeing justin? I have no clue but there was alot of drama there, & People ( more like 1 person) seems to think im such a whore? but they dont talk to me & Im not friends with them! Good assumption...Next time Get your shit straight...:) K? thanks.
Cyah Bitches<3
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| I die trying Just to keep myself from kissing you :) |
[Tuesday
December 28th, 2004
12:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pissed off |
] |
I like the way my life is now.
I seem to be happy & Im not in my depression anymore.
Christmas Just past & I must say it was Great. :) I loved it.
Im acctually getting along with my family now & my friends.
except the 3 people I miss most are Veronica. Stac. Laur
I cant live without my best friend even for one second.
Oh i almost forgot...Dan I miss you also.
I miss the road trips
I miss the cementary we ventured too.
I miss seeing cattle with you guys.
I miss being "off the map" with you guys.
wow....I miss alot </3 This is ridiculous.
We need to get together SOON
But...My classes for youth assistance are Coming up soon & Im for sure not looking forward to them seeing thast it's 10 weeks & I have 12 hours of community service to fulfill :\
Eh i should have realized how much shit this would have gotten me into and maybe I wouldnt have done it...But No im stupid :)
There's this new "Guy" Im getting to know. :)
He's a really great guy i must say & so far he makes me happy
Im hoping everything works out But if it doesnt then
HEY! i gave it my best shot..:)
-Some of you may have saw what I put after this but scratch it cause I dont fuckin care anymore:)-
Im not bending the way i feel for garrett Anymore. Im sick of fucking doing that. you want honesty from me, well you fucking got it and what did you do? you got childish about the shit :) Listen I dont care if you dont like me liking someone else. this isnt your life it's mine now Im gonna live it the way I want & Im not gonna give a damn about what you think :) for once in my life Im gonna be strong & Just walk away from this because Im sick of crying about things you say & do IM SO SICK OF THE SHIT! you may think im such a horrible bitch for what happened but People learn from their mistakes. Im a human being. I make mistakes just like everyother person in this world. Im not perfect! you dont think I regret? well -News flash- I DO! but what can i do about it now? Absolutely Nothing. All i can do is move on with my life & Live it the best I fucking can.
You know what? Im done. Im gonna just shut up now.
& Please Noone take this to offencse. Im not trying to start drama. Honestly.
<3Courtney
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| My shadow's the only one who walks beside me.... |
[Thursday
December 16th, 2004
8:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
Havent updated in awhile
Monday& Tuesday I really dont even remeber what happened...:\ Eh oh well.
Wednesday - Went to school & That seemed to go pretty good. went to the dentist, came home & Went to ally's. We chilled for a few but we kinda got bored & Ally begged her father to let her go driving. she had to make up excuses as to why she NEEDED to drive so we said we needed to go to cvs and some shit...he believed it :) lol We went there & visited with grant :) it was quite cute. Then she made a stop at meijers? for amber? I dont know why but I didnt want to argue :) we got home, and I just decided to chill by myself at my house. Talked on the phone for a few & I called it a night early :) I was overly exhuatsed.
Thursday - School was lame. I left like 10 minutes early and Picked up soem stuff for my damn project...Honestly why do they even give us projects over x-mas break. it's useless. but Im going to try to get it done & acctually pass for once in my life. I talked to alli on the phone about tommorow's hockey game that were going to. :) That's going to be cute, But people are whining cause they dont trust me? Honestly I try to convince you to but that's your choice to believe me or not :\ Sorry Im not very "Convincing" Oh well tho. Life's a bunch of drama and Im serisouly fed up with it.
That's it...This entry was pointless but I was bored :)
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